*me searching for all those job offers..
It's officially been a year since I've graduated. Jeeps. A year has flown by and although I'm soon to be a graduate not living in the place where I, well.. graduated. Not much has really changed. The depressing thing is, that I've actually been applying for jobs for a year. And that pretty much sucks to admit. I didn't want to write a post about it, because it sort of feels shameful, that I'm yet to do a full time job with my degree.
Not being employed in a field I studied for has been frustrating me for some time. Constant job interviews, putting myself out there, new interview clothes and tasks, it's all a little crazy if you ask me. Forever hearing I'm not experienced enough or 'you just weren't the perfect fit' it's pretty disheartening and you do just begin to question yourself and worry.
All I really write about is pressure. I feel like it's all I ever write about. But it's true. Our generation has such immense pressure and standards to fulfil. I'm lucky in that I'm quite a relaxed person, but let's be honest the annoying questions from family friends, auntie Babs and long lost cousins of "so what are you up to now" eventually makes you want to hand your degree back and say 'nope, soz, I want to return this.’ or shove it in the back of a cupboard in the hopes that everyone will forget about your 40k debt that looms over your head, and maybe auntie Babs will stop questioning your terrible mid 20s life choices.
Truth is the least valuable thing I got from university was that little piece of card saying ‘this is a degree.’ In fact when it arrived at my door I actually proclaimed ‘this is shit’ whilst wafting the pathetically designed piece of card that was designed and sent from an arts uni. A year later it’s still in it’s sad little envelope, sitting in my trolley of important boring pieces of paper I shouldn’t really throw away.
The biggest thing I took away from university was my sense of perseverance. It is something I am still super proud of, that I managed to accomplish something in the midst of doing an extra year of a-levels, anxiety, being a 3rd year drop out.. with terrible tutors who didn't know what mental health was. In spite of all the odds I still continued to complete it. It's something that now I take with me through my everyday life, but the truth is, it wasn't university that gave me that in the first place, it was the journey I took on my own.
And that's what I'm doing now I suppose. Just taking a journey and perservering I'm not being stressed about it, or looking at someone else to see what my life should be like. I think all graduates should believe in themselves more and not compare. Someone else's life path is not a competition to your own. Just chill out for abit, find out your calling and stop stressing because you don't think you have your life together in your 20's.
Because chances are, you're further than you think.